Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in tehdarkfox's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, January 1st, 2009
5:47 pm	So, where to begin... I started off the end/start of the year with a chemical burn on my scalp because I felt the need to get my hair restraightened. I also ended up finding out that a good deal more of my family are pot heads than I knew before. It's kind of weird, eh? Apart from that, my granmother is going to teach me to sew, and I have quite a bit to say about other facets of my life, but eh, for the moment, I guess this is all I can put forward. Current Mood: blank (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 1st, 2008
2:48 pm	I should really... Do more with this. But my life is weird, I mean, how can it not be when you lose a family member, get hit by a trash truck the next day, and in two days after that you get on the news with your school. It all echoes some weird call to the wild, but eh, I'm lost at the moment. (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 27th, 2008
9:46 pm	Meh Hidden behind a placid smile If given the chance between life and death, people choose to go on. In a war ravaged world, they still hope, they still yearn for the chance to be happy, for that one time in which they can return to the old ways of life. What happens when the old way is lost forever? What happens when death and destruction have torn the old ways from the people? The corporations gave us the answer, through muscle augmentation, neural implantation, and theoretical supplementation. From a young age, we were experimented on, tortured beyond the limits to produce the perfect soldier. The Vapid Smile, a group of children synthesized to fight the shadow wars, to halt the uprisings, and to destroy the dissenting parties. In this cruel and unforgiving society where science was allowed over the lines of ethics, prominent military groups came to take hold of governments and push forth research to further pursue global conquest. The major powers turned to biological and chemical means, hoping to plunge entire states into a nightmare beyond past fears. Our society had nothing left to lose, so they turned to their own children, selecting a starting sample size of five hundred, ninety-five percent of which died in the initial trials. The global arms race continued, with years becoming decades, all of which culminated into minor conflicts to field test new weapons. The Vapid Smile was kept in the dark for the duration of the turbulent times (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 23rd, 2007
2:47 pm	The first page Of a story my friend had me write, I'll probably get around to posting the concept work she drew based around it later today. The rain fell for days in the dark city while lightning bolts pulsed in the distance. While people darted across the the streets, trying to meet family or see a treasured someone, the nightlife behind the scenes slowly started to emerge. Along the rooftops, a small group watched the scene beneath them, snickering at the trivial nature that humanity grasped. Speaking in growls and snarls, they spoke of what was to come, the grand feast and the culmination of the peace treaties. The group slowly moved along the top of the city, always watching the ones they looked down upon, the ones not inflicted with their blessing disguised as a curse. As they slowly picked up speed, they could see their destination in the distance, St. Augustine's Cathedral, a testament to the middle ages architecture. It's many spires pointed towards the heaven, yet it had been desecrated by Machiavel's coven. The exterior was wrought with spires and brilliant rose windows from times passed, while the inside was more like a modern nightclub, filled with lights and speakers to fuel the vampires lust for parties. As the contingent from Grevioux's pack entered the Cathedral, they slowly shifted shapes, the whole while their bones snapped and cracked in a loud manner. The sounds alerted two men dressed in suits who came to the entry hall to investigate the source of noise. “Ah, it seems the lycans have arrive Grigori,” One of the men spoke wryly. “isn't it your job to notice these things?” “It seems as such comrade.” Grigori shook his head at his companions attempt at humour. “We are here to see Machiavel.” One of the lycans spoke the words with a slight gruffness to his voice. “Fine Messer, he's been waiting to see you,” The first man spoke again. “Grigori will show you to his office.” Grigori led Messer down the hallway and stood in front of a large set of doors, all the while violent vibrations shook the doors every few seconds. Grigori pushed open the doors to reveal a rave of immense proportions with music that was nearly deafening. The two men slowly pushed through the mass of people, making their way toward the door behind the pulpit. As they walked amongst the throng of people, the strobe lights flashed wildly as they all danced, moving in eternal bliss as they had no true cares in this world. Messer looked from left to right, seeing all forms of people, from those who were intoxicated on any number of substances, to those who were sitting on leather couches chatting with others of frivolous events that had occurred in their materialistic lives. As the two men finally broke through the mass of moving flesh, they stood in front of the door. Griogori lightly rapped the door before opening it, an action which bathed both he and Messer in a dim light. Griogori stepped into the room, turning back to motion Messer to do the same. Messer closed the door as he walked in and looked around the dimly lit room, seeing only one person beside he and his companion. A woman whose presence shocked Messer sat behind a desk, her hair in a state of controlled chaos while the piercing in her lip slightly glinted in the light. Grigori walked up to her and conversed with her quickly in a mass of whispers and nodding. Messer watched the two speak, all the while his mind began to drift, displacing him into what seemed a different world entirely. A smell like bitter almonds wafted gently in the dim room, signifying the deed was done recently. Hundreds of lifeless bodies lay scattered around the room, all of which were slowly being moved by young men, all of which were clad in clothes that were remnants of the of the outside world. A younger Messer was among these men, yet he was sickened everyday by what he was doing, and also by what he got from doing it. Day in and day out, he escorted people to their death, whether to be gassed or executed, and he hated every moment of it. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
12:17 am	Hello world I wanted this to be a bit more permanent than on another site I posted it on. So, I'm sitting here, been sitting here all day, just reading. I want to go out to Orange County next summer on a bike and back, just to see what most people fail to see, to have the open air around me on a trip. I want to love the world and accept it, so why not this way? Why not try something most will never do, something that will make me feel like I'm actually alive and not just some shell. I want to be like a friend of mine who stopped taking her Anti-depressants and mood elevators, to feel nice without needing some chemical influencing it all. Am I crazy mates? Or am I slowly thinking of a way to be truly sane in this hectic world? http://www.intransit.tv The website that helped start this train of thinking. Good evenin' mates, every one of ya. Current Music: Mindthings - Night rains (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007
9:41 pm	Cloud age lies. Just get out of here for just one day The sky lights up with the sight of life The fire that burns deep down inside The world slowly turns on Going further on So I wait for my chance to shine People are So blind in these times Just to get away Is meaningless here Is meaningless to them Flying so high Up in this Orange sky The diamonds Fall from space To impact the earth With superior grace Just like dancers Spinning away in the sky People were blind To the problems of life Now they float away Beautiful clouds in the sky Beautiful words from the stars (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 19th, 2007
9:23 pm	8 Random things I bet only you'll read this Bunny, but I'll do it regardless. 1 - I want to get S.t.a.l.k.e.r. Tattooed to my arm just as Strelok has across his to show my support for the game and also because being marked as one will serve as a constant reminder of the Chernobyl incident. 2 - I have caused two concussions to myself which is on of the things I think caused such horrid memory loss. 3 - Memories from before around the 6th or 7th grade are extremely blurry to non existant. 4 - I believe most people I know will never be trusted beyond my name and interests, I am extremely misanthropic and even moreso now after all the recent events. 5 - I want to become some sort of writer, whether scripts or books or whatever, I want to atleast develop my writing to something higher. 6 - I possibly want to follow the path of my school counselor(That of majoring in religion/philosophy for undergrad then going onto school counseling as a grad) 7 - I really wish to just up and leave one day and leave the majority of all those I know behind and end up somewhere in which no one knows my name(a song helped me wish for this). 8 - I have feelings like that of Sylar, wanting to be special and feeling I'd have to have the abilities of others to be something better. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 15th, 2007
12:02 am	Lament of the broken. My delicate rose Your petals turned black Your hatred abound I've lost all my tact My madness consumes me My madness controls me The world is turning black Leaving an abyss In place of heart I lack This is the end My world is falling down The dreams they haunt Pain is all around I slowly lose it Falling to the ground Oh my sweet rose Where are you now? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
1:07 am	Woo Because of you bunny, I'm bored and going to write twenty random facts about myself. 1-My OCD stretches far and wide 2-I have a phobia of leaving messages on peoples phones whom I don't talk to much or know that well 3-Many people think I'm Bi polar(I might be) 4-I would only join the military for a way out of "real life" 5-As my grades have improved, my esteem and emotions have fallen 6-Listening to music evens me out 7-I am generally misanthropic 8-I really like pie 9-From my knowledge I feel no sensation of pleasure in my penis(funny) 10-I like the smell of lighter fluid 11-Most of my writing influences come from thoughts pertaining to games and those that come from music 12-I will miss school to go to the hospital as my sister births her second child 13-I've wasted vast chunks of time figuring out why I don't think my writing is any good 14-I've all but given up on trying to talk to most people I know 15-I want to go to Korea and try my hand at working there 16-My dog is named socks 17-The white shoes I wore the day my last dog was attacked still have his blood on them while they have sat in the same spot I left them 2 months ago, never worn since 18-Teachers love when I ask stupid questions and say college professors would love such things(I love lies people try to feed me) 19-I believe in more of a viewpoint that there really is no need for my existence other than to try to help certain people 20-Many people consider me strange because I don't want to listen to mainstream music and dress in trendy ways, even moreso when I just go off on a tangent and make weird sounds and movements I once scared most of a class to the point where some thought I was going to choke someone, fun. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 14th, 2007
9:55 pm	Chernobyl Exclusion. A freedom operatives thoughts Pamplin, Daraelyn Per 5 25/03/07 The Zone is an ever growing system, one that has much to offer. Some try to protect the world from this anomaly and cordon it off, this is not the answer to something many consider dangerous. The Zone should be open for all who seek to gain knowledge of it and all that lurks inside it's numerous borders, instead those who seek to enter are punished for their pursuit of knowledge and profit. The Zone is an entity that can provide observation of changes in heavily irradiated environments and the life they hold. Research of this nature could advance our knowledge on the topic of radiation and it's effects on natural flora and fauna. Abominations as considered by outsiders and those against the zone, Blind Dogs can perhaps shape research as they are the children of the Zone. Opponents to a free Zone, such as DUTY operatives, wish to control the zone and destroy it to “protect” the world from danger. The actions such groups pursue would leave the Zone more than secure than it already is or as a smoking crater with radiation levels off the charts. The main goal of someone who wishes to protect the world is to cut the head off of a dangerous animal rather than living with it, thus signifying a disaster in the bushes. Others wish for a heavily militarized presence in the zone, yet this is also not the answer. Many platoons already emplaced in the shoot many would be Stalkers on sight, leaving little time to even study the wildlife on the outer rim of the Zone. These units should be placed to help those in need and not fire upon any who dare enter the reserve of sorts. The government of Ukraine would probably state differently seeing as they are responsible for the area. In all honesty they would, like DUTY, do away with the zone completely if given half the chance. A solution should be made for these ideas, yet they try to protect themselves and keep the area generally free of looting. In all, what they wish to pursue is noble yet in the wrong direction and thus they should aim to work alongside those who wish to use the Zone as a tool. All in all, the Zone is both life and death, filled with unforeseen dangers and bountiful rewards. The Zone should be left to the discretion of those who wish to traverse it for information instead of destroyed or guarded by a heavy military presence. The simple truth is that it is a working system and not some horrific monster created by man as many sought to believe upon first reports of mutation. The Zone is what we can learn from, the Zone is something we can protect. The Zone: The area around the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant that was most heavily effected by the incident in 1986. Heavily irradiated and containing many forms of mutated life and presence by people known as Stalkers. Stalkers: People who transverse the Zone, a wide assortment of men bent on learning or making money in ways only they know how. Blind dogs: A dog so heavily effected by radiation it's eyesight is lost yet gains a collective concious with others and uses other sensory organs to live. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 12th, 2007
8:46 pm	Herr Meiwes und Der Schwartzfuchs. By: Detlef Fuchs So here we have Armin Meiwes, otherwise known as the Metzgermeister, or the Master Butcher in English. A celebrity brought forth by infamy through his cannibalistic acts toward another man. Today we here at Das Schwartzwerk get to peer into this man's soul. When I walked into the visiting area of the prison, a man of grand proportions sat at a table in the middle of the room, looking like any random person off of the street. A pleasing air surrounded this man as he gave a gentle smile whilst greeting me. Surely people think of this man as some vile and repugnant creature living with no manners, yet he disproved this within seconds of meeting him. “First of all,” I started with a simple question. “why did you feel the need to commit what many see as a dreadful offence?” “Well it was as if desire wanted only to bring forth that moment,” He spoke quite gently as he explained. “like the ever hungry fire desires only to consume everything in it's path. “So from nothing sprang forth the need to do such a thing?” I watched him ponder the answer to the question. “To be honest, it was like a grand hunger for something abundant yet still rare,” His speech was monotonous at this time. “like diamonds so to say.” “Well then, what was it like?” “As you and your readers know, the internet has made connecting with others rather simple,” He scratched his chin before finishing his statement. “that and after eating this specimen of sorts, it makes it easy to say that the texture and taste was similar to more normal facets of dining.” “So that's to say it was acceptable to your tastes?” “To be honest, it appealed to my tastes very much so.” “Well apart from that, what are your thoughts on recent media and it's direction on you?” “To say that it is a bit unjust is an understatement on my behalf,” He shook his head slowly as he spoke. “the limelight in both a film to a song that are reaching out globally portray me as a villain in the publics eye.” “Well what are your plans to combat this then?” “Well I have already won a court case against a group of musicians,” He spoke of the ever famous group Rammstein in a more scholarly manner than most would. “and the government has already banned the release of a film in the country on my behalf.” “So would you say you are happy about this win against these people?” “Very much so considering it shows that if they do something to give me a bad name, I will Armin Meiwes, Photograph taken by a friend before the event. respond with legal action.” “So that is to say that you are ready to deal with anyone who you claim to be portraying you in an unjust light?” I asked rather intently. “If they will continue to do such things then yes, I will take it up with the legal system of this country.” He folded his hands at the end of this sentence. After Meiwes and I talked a bit more, I began to realize that this man was nowhere near the portrayals other media outlets tried to show him as. A rather simple yet educated man who did one wrong thing by the majority's standards but with someone who consented to it. To be honest and fair, his case should be reviewed seeing as even though what he did was wrong, he tried to make things right before he was even persecuted. In all certainty though, this man is neither evil nor repugnant, but well read and gentle. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
2:01 pm	Rivet rise Machines pumping out The marvels of the day Faceless individuals Move them on their way Factories spitting out Every little thing The revolution upon us Every single day We fight the wars and pave the way Laughed and scoffed at Yet we will rise and sweep the world Fighting in total chaos Lost are words Weapons risen The deed to be done Fighting the world Each and everyone Taking to the streets We break walls down Such an amazing feat For this group The swell of troops All nameless and faceless An impassable force A reckless mob Turned from the gates Of your dear god We speak no words We emerge from fog On this grey dawn Todays the day When things are done (Comment on this)
Monday, December 18th, 2006
10:46 pm	Fearless Thousands marching Always fighting We came To end this war The mighty German machine Will be no more Fearless marching forward This is our war Fearless marching forward Forever more War, it's almost what I live for. (Comment on this)
Friday, December 15th, 2006
9:11 pm	Sadistic? With a blade I dismember They bled Now I slowly rape the dead Now I slowly lose my head I wait in silence I sit in blood I feel alive When my victims fall cold I love the stench of spilt blood The scent clenches to my clothes I stand for stolen innocence I stand for greed I stand in cold blood Wishing for more I stare coldly On this bloody shore (Comment on this)
8:37 pm	Two things from a day of sickness Feeling splattered on the bathroom floor Here I lay Everyday On your bathroom floor My stomach I clutch it I wallow in pain Knowing every minute All the time Everyday I'm insane I can't get over you I can't get rid of you I wait I say Things never should've been this way I despise it all anyway Let this lesson be learned I'll never have you and it hurts But I always find you In the darkness deep inside of me   Regrets   I regret ever looking At you that day I regret giving you The time of day I regret it all Everything I said All the feelings I have left No one knows Why I am The way I am Pain rests in my eyes These things I despise Lay shattered here Maybe I can Reuse broken pieces of glass But until I can Break away From everyone Who seems to say Another day I regret it all No one left That I can call This night is through Just as I always knew (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 14th, 2006
8:25 pm	Charred flesh Charred man With so skin black What happened? Is it feeling you lack? Can you see what you have done? Can you do what you want? You body burned Your soul is gone Can you tell me Where it all goes When one life ends And another is born Another man Another day You changed Now you're this way What happened To make you that way Were you trapped Or did you do it yourself Maybe one day I'll find out myself Can you tell me What happened to you Why life ends To recreate you Another life Another day What can you say? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
5:51 am	Isolation Isolation in a hole Trapped down far below Light can't shine down on me Yet I wish not to see All the men kill Wanting not be part of this Hide far, away from it Or else you'll soon be sick Isolation, you know you're going Isolation, you can't stop running (Comment on this)
3:35 am	Maybe I should write in a newer way, or post what new bits to my story I have. Overkill Round and Round Overflowing With the sound I can't take it The dice fall It goes down This is the end I feel insane It's overkill Overflowing It falls down This is it Schuss schuss schuss The world spins round and round Schuss schuss schuss Yet I sit underground Approaching overkill Oh such a thrill I trip over everything The night means everything The contents fall around Covering the ground I can't deal with this Just to much bullshit Yet it's insatiable I can't give it up Yes it's overkill   Give me a reason Give me a reason to say why Tell me what you did Why do you always have to lie? Why can't you just say the things you did? You know I won't Turn you away Just like the night turns into day I cannot let you stray So far away I want you to stay Just give me a reason I don't want to be turned I want to stay by your side This time where we must become one Without you I am not whole Without you I cannot go You see the pain Deep in my eyes You know my words Can never be lies (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 23rd, 2006
8:45 am	Empty I doubt this is really read, if it is probably by less people than I think would. My mind is in tatters at the moment, I feel sick in my head. A forked tongue beast stares me down With each passing moment I feel as if I drown Chained to the ground With no place to hide I stand tall Willing to die Blood slowly seeps from the wounds I cry in pain So much pain But no one Will notice This is it The end For me Slowly I burn away Resting on the bed of flames Nothing left to save Nothing left to fight for No one notices that I go The last night in this world Filled with torment Filled with death I feel cold in both my body and mind...What will become of such a wayward soul? (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 16th, 2006
3:37 am	Something beautiful and something horrid Two things this time Tanz bis du stirbtst One in the morning This was our fantasy We went downstairs Playing tango music So you know the night was close to end So miss come with me To the ends of the world Every night I wish For you To wake up next to you But tonight we dance We will dance Till you die No stopping here Your feet will fly Across this floor Three comes quickly by Lost track of time The world spins Giving a sigh Seeing as we can't Let the night die Going on Till eternity dies Flower laden battlefield Fields of fire surround me Lost in a minefield Covered by flowers Such a sight of beauty The army changed Everything about me Fighting harder and faster Than I thought I could Now I know why Killing is my art A minister of death I pray for darker days Filled with war So I cannot sleep One day passes by The orchestra keeps playing it's songs About the blood That will always stain These two hands of mine Every night I kneel and pray That I will never know Another way to live So hey baby Don't you know I'm in the TSRT? (Comment on this)